Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

General

6 Comments

Golden goodness?

After four months of hard slog since the New Year break, most Japanese can now kick back and enjoy the current Golden Week holidays. A rather aptly named spot of time off, as prices for flights and hotels double at the very least, shamelessly shafting the millions of people trying to make the most of this short vacation.

Still, why worry about money when the chance of a stress-relieving holiday presents itself? Yet whilst getting away from it all is arguably more important than financial concerns, it’s a pity that the actual getting away part is such a hassle.

Certainly doing battle at the airport is not for the faint-hearted.

There again, a journey on a shinkansen may be even worse, seat occupancy ranging from a decidedly uncomfortable 130%, to a quite frankly bloody awful 180%. Statistics that mean sights like the one below will be reserved solely for those who manage to push and prod their way on to the carriage first.

Yet being crammed and crushed on a train for several hours may well be preferable to traveling by car, with several routes out of Tokyo inflicting over 50-kilometre traffic jams on heroic holidaymakers yesterday.

That said, when they all eventually reach their destinations, it’ll at last be rest and relaxation time. A few days to idle away with the masses of other want-away workers and holiday-starved sightseers…

2 Comments

Nag-free narcotics?

“He nagged only us. We hoped the drug might make him kinder.”

An excuse made by two junior high school students after being rumbled for lacing their teacher’s lunch with antidepressants.

After a trip to the hospital due to feeling dizzy and generally unwell, how ‘kind’ the 39-year-old teacher will be upon his return wasn’t disclosed.

7 Comments

Coarse campaign

In a desperate bid to lure extra visitors during the upcoming Golden Week holidays, the Pacific Yokohama exhibition hall has given its roof a spot of racy renovation, the addition of bikini-clad models aimed at garnering some cheap publicity.

An approach that — as mentioned here before — is shallow at best, requiring no skill or talent whatsoever;

miho yoshioka

and even less imagination.

rei kikukawa

A route that thankfully Tokyo Times has never gone down, and something the site will hopefully continue to hold firm on.

kaori manabe

4 Comments

Pampered pooches

Canine clothing is one thing, even dog dye could be deemed acceptable — at a push.

dog dye

Yet the current pet boom in Japan has resulted in ever more lavish treatment for the nation’s pampered pooches, a prime example being Copin Dog Mediness in Nagoya, a fitness centre that amongst other things has a pool for dogs undergoing rehabilitation — or more extravagantly, an aid to those merely looking to shed a few extra pounds.

pet therapy

And if that wasn’t enough, once fit and svelte, it’s often straight on to the Wanwan Zoo in Okazaki, where for 4,000 yen (20 pound) and upwards, man’s best friend can enjoy the benefits of a beauty clinic; aroma oils and allergenic shampoos making the visit a very pleasant one indeed.

However rumours that an establishment in Tokyo is set to top all of this with a rather more ‘personal’ service would appear to be true.

tokyo wank

2 Comments

East of Eton

Saturday saw the opening of Kaiyo Academy in Aichi Prefecture, a boys-only boarding school modeled on Britain’s exclusive Eton College. The elaborate ceremony welcoming around 120 students from all over the country, many of whom will be molded into future leaders of Japan. Or at least that’s the aim.

kaiyo academy

School principle Takeo Izuyama told the gathered throng, “What is important for one to become a leader is to establish his or her individual identity.” Student representative Taiki Aoyama — a regular fun-loving 12-year-old by all accounts — responding in kind by saying, “We will study Japanese history and culture and will make efforts so that we can play an important role in the global community with confidence and pride.”

Yet whilst the overall curriculum at Kaiyo Academy may differ slightly from that of Eton, several house masters assured parents that rugby is compulsory, as will be the time-honoured public school traditions of group masturbation and buggery.

3 Comments

Convenience store chainsaw misdemenour

Customers treating their local convenience store as a library of sorts is far from uncommon, with many spending considerably more than a few minutes leafing through magazines and manga. That said, Ibaraki resident Yasumasa Matsuzaki managed to take such brazen browsing into previously uncharted territory — visiting the same Seven-Eleven store everyday and reading to his heart’s content.

However after an eye-straining 3-hour stint at the magazine rack last Wednesday, the manager of the store finally lost patience with the 70-year-old, telling him to either buy or bugger off. Perhaps predictably Matsuzaki opted for the latter, but his chainsaw-wielding return was somewhat less expected, the rabid reader revving the motor and shouting to the manager, “I’ll cut you to pieces!”

japanese convenience store

Thankfully Matsuzaki-san didn’t carry out his threat, instead opting to leave the (still running) chainsaw at the store’s front entrance and go back to his reading; the mystified manager explaining, “He was still reading magazines even after I called police.”

After the culprit was taken away, Seven-Eleven spokesperson Nobuyuki Miyaji explained that customers reading for long periods of time wasn’t unusual, but Matsuzaki was an extreme case. Also adding, “I’ve heard that he wouldn’t leave the store, coming every day and lying on the floor eating food.”

Sustenance purchased in the shop or brought from home in the form of a packed lunch wasn’t disclosed.