General

For reasons unknown — although it may well have something to do with late teens in tiny tartan skirts — the Japanese high school girl look is one that is often copied and clandestinely catered for, along with the availability of a veritable cornucopia of costumes aimed at pandering to such passions.

Meaning that such raiment features regularly in magazines,

and maybe even more so in men’s minds,

although generally it doesn’t involve the inclusion of brief-baring blokes, Sesame Street-style silliness and a pipe protruding from the model’s mid-rift.

Or maybe I just lack imagination.

(image via the FG Forums)

The likes of Starbucks and McDonald’s are certainly easy to criticise, as they almost criminally continue to make cut and paste copies of countries, and conceivably even continents. An issue that is particularly pertinent in Tokyo, with one or the other — and quite often both — seemingly battling it out on every busy block.

However, when one is far away from home, familiar places and especially products are now and again nice to have nearby, although being British, fish and chips shops are decidedly few and far between, and coming across the comforting treat of a toasted crumpet is tantamount to lighting upon long lost treasure. Yet that said, it’s not exactly impossible to get merchandise from the motherland, with the availability of certain beers and possibly even a bit of public school buggery for those with a penchant for such practices.

Plus, on days when one is in the doldrums, it’s always nice to know that no matter where one is in the world, the never ending fun of novelty breasts is never far away.

With best Jeanist, Leathernist and even Nailist prizes given out every year, it’s perhaps not surprising then to hear that there is now the Parcassio Beautiful Leg Awards, which, without too much leverage of the language, could legitimately be labelled the best leggists.

However, while this series of events is all well and good, it also begs the question as to when a Japanese bra manufacturer will boast the best breastist. An event that as well as being a huge promotional tool, could also be the perfect medium for marvelling at Japan’s multitude of mammary merchants.

All the way from the now long in the tooth talents of ‘veteran’ Aki Hoshino,

to the more youthful but equally considerable capabilities of Reon Kadena.

And there could even be a possible nod to the not so natural, with the inclusion of the somewhat crudely constructed Kano sisters.

Although with one of them rumoured to have formerly been a fella (the one on the left perchance?), it’s not all that difficult to imagine that she’d have been better off waiting to appear in the presumably up-and-coming best penisist promotion.

Whether the notion of never actually closing is necessary or not is debatable to say the least, but apart from the nation’s copious collection of convenience stores, Japanese shop owners have been relatively slow in adopting around the clock retailing. There again, until fairly recently it wasn’t even possible to withdraw the money necessary to actually notch up a nocturnal purchase, so their disinterest was probably defensible.

Still, as time goes on, outlets of all kinds are slowly catching on.

Kind of.