Or shall we not bother?
Biscuit blather
Language
Cleaning clanger
Perhaps proving just how efficient its stain removal service is — and at the same time justifying the ‘plus’ boast — the dry cleaning shop below appears to have laundered this sign so much that the ‘e’ and ‘a’ have been completely eradicated.
Rather embarrassing it has to be said, although such a simple spelling mistake is nothing compared to the potential pitfalls of a visit to such an establishment — at least for an unsuspecting non-native. Fresh off the boat at the time, but due to the summer humidity possessing less than fresh clothing, I valiantly ventured into a store offering similar services; the price list below displaying the very reasonable rates on offer.
Unfortunately I couldn’t read anything other than the prices, but the second option seemed fairly obvious, if a little unusual: ‘Yシャツ’ simply had to be ‘Y-fronts’ (briefs), the super low price of 178 yen appearing to confirm this. Thus, armed with a few shirts and a parcel of pungent pants, and pleased at avoiding a gruelling boil wash, I sheepishly handed over my cleaning.
The resultant awkward silence was excruciating — broken only briefly by a barely suppressed giggle from the lady behind me — until at last the crimson-faced woman in charge managed to explain that underpants were unacceptable, tentatively pushing the opened bag back in my direction. Frantic gestures and embarrassed pointing eventually revealing that ‘Yシャツ’ are actually shirts, and not the similarly (in my mind at least) named undergarments.
Presumably in fear of other unsuspecting foreigners presenting her with their pants, the poor lady had produced a helpful sign upon my return, displaying in no uncertain terms what was acceptable. And perhaps more importantly, what was not.*
*Large parts of this story may have been exaggerated or even entirely made up in order to get some mileage out of a rather dull picture of a misspelled sign. Alternatively, this could be a ploy by the writer to desperately disassociate himself with an unpleasant underpants related experience.
Royal writer
Although details of the trip are often hard to come by, the current Queen Elizabeth spent a summer in Japan during her youth; a month or so of freedom and exploration before the responsibilities of royalty took over the young woman’s life.
Even less well documented however is that during this period away, the heir to the British throne remarkably joined forces with a humble sign writer, helping him to produce bilingual notices for foreign visitors and dignitaries. The precocious princess somehow managing to struggle along with only her trusty dictionary and an army of aides and lackeys.
Yet despite this effort at mixing with commoners — and indeed Johnny Foreigner — young Elizabeth it seems never quite managed to escape her upbringing. This badly faded and only remaining example of her work hinting at the princess’ elevated position.
A straight forward ‘Be careful’ or ‘Watch your step’ obviously sounding rather crass to her delicate and finely tuned royal ears. ‘Take care of one’s feet’ instead coming across as an infinitely more refined option.
Still, such slightly over the top politeness is nothing to the now veteran Head of State’s last effort at translation. Her rather long-winded, ‘If you’d be a jolly good sport and steer clear of the lawn we’d needless to say appreciate it enormously’* sadly opening something of a rift between the princess and the sign writer, resulting in the premature demise of a unique relationship.
*Amazingly this final collaboration could still be seen in Tokyo until just over a decade ago, but unfortunately it disappeared along with the capital’s last piece of grass in 1995.
Edible envy
No, you can’t have a bite. Go and get your own.
Not jealous are you?
Showy shops
Japan’s prolonged period of economic stagnation has prompted many retail outlets to opt for ever more outlandish promotional gimmicks, with perhaps none as bright and bizarre as this shop and ferris wheel combination.
A decidedly unique approach it has to be said, and one that gives customers that bit of fairground fun they didn’t even know they wanted.
Other stores however go for a rather more restrained, low-key approach. A prime example being the public display of internal organs.
Big bust
Whilst just about interesting enough in itself, the picture below also offers the relatively rare opportunity of using the words bust, helmet and chopper in the same sentence. Although it goes without saying that such dreadful double-entendres have no place whatsoever on Tokyo Times.
Click on the image for an, ahem, enlargement.