Tokyo Times

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Mildly amusing English usage #8

Like most language textbooks, those available in Japan for the dedicated student of English aren’t exactly what you’d call inspirational. The words fun and interesting don’t usually spring to mind either.

So any attempt to buck this trend by putting a bit of entertainment into English is to be commended. And incorporating quotes from popular films is probably a good way of achieving this. Plus it makes the language a bit more real.

But a bit of care is needed as far as selection goes, and some quotes are obviously better suited than others.

japanese shag

(Apologies for the poor picture quality. It was a bit rushed due to a rather stern looking shop assistant nearby.)

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Mildly amusing English usage #6

Kill you

After receiving a call on Monday night about a man walking around Tokyo’s Taito-ku district with a knife, a police officer quickly arrived at the scene and confronted the criminal. But rather than give up his weapon, the man began to walk towards the policeman, brandishing the knife and shouting “Kill You” in English.

Whilst it wasn’t reported, I presume I’m right in guessing that the officer didn’t correct the man’s shoddy English. Perhaps helpfully suggesting that I’m going to, or I want to placed before his outburst would make for a grammatically correct (and more intimidating) sentence.

Instead the policeman simply shot the suspect in the arm, bringing the incident to a swift and decisive end.

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Happy?

happy?

Sound advice it has to be said. But the problem is, where are we supposed to find (or buy if needs be) a happy?

Slang it turns out is a hairdressers and makeup salon. Surely such a thing can’t be so easily acquired, can it?

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Mildly amusing English usage #5

Amongst most Japanese kids, foreign celebrities are arguably just as well known (if not more so) than their homegrown counterparts. As an example, just the merest hint of the word soccer invariably produces spontaneous and excited chants of “Beckham! Beckham!”

But all these foreign (and at times difficult to pronounce) names can get a little confusing. Or so it would seem after a class I had last week.

Practicing the riveting and overly used “What/Which _____ do you like?” I asked the class what sports they enjoyed. Thankfully one young student made the effort to answer, and he managed to blurt out that he’s a keen basketball fan. Deciding to abandon all caution and forge full steam ahead, I took the plunge and asked him which player he liked as a follow-up question.

Unfortunately this was the moment when the confusion arose and everything went pear shaped. Proud of his extensive basketball and NBA knowledge, the young fella excitedly told us that his favourite player is the one and only Michael Jackson!

Needless to say, after a brief pause to take in the magnitude of his mistake, we all guffawed loudly. Just long enough to make him cry and never want to study English ever again.

Ok, that last bit is not true, but his better-informed classmates found it hard to conceal their laughter. As it has to be said did their English teacher.

nba_jackson.jpg

Michael “NBA” Jackson yesterday giving a big thumbs-up after wowing fans with yet another flamboyant slam-dunk.