Tokyo Times

Photographs from a small group of islands

Odd

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Silicone sex substitute

For silicone sex seekers held back by hygiene concerns, emotional discomfort, or a simple lack of funds, help may finally be at hand — providing a willing partner can be found; the simple application of a mannequin-like mask creating a convincing — if somewhat disturbing — love doll effect.

latex mask

Plus, just like their expensively constructed counterparts, different ‘heads’ can be used.

latex face

And whilst the changing of masks might take a little longer than the simple removal of a head, overall it’s probably an improvement as there’ll be no fear of it falling off during especially vigorous activity.

latex doll head

All in all, an option that may eventually lead to a huge number of latex lay-offs.

latex doll

Or more than likely, won’t.

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Dog dishonour

Jackets and jumpers for pampered pooches are far from uncommon in Tokyo. Elaborate canine kimonos on the other hand are rather more unconventional.

Japanese kimono_dog

Captured post-pose, however, the poor little fella’s shame at being continually pictured and paraded is painfully clear.

Japanese kimono_dog

(click images for heightened humiliation)

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Holy haul

Taking zero tolerance to extremes, a judge in Kobe sentenced a man to 22 months in prison on Tuesday — all for the theft of around 800 yen’s (4 pound) worth of goods, and a pathetically paltry 2 yen (tuppence ha’penny) from a shrine offertory box.

yen
half the haul

This harsh punishment is all the more shocking as unemployed Seiji Kondo took from June to October in 2005 to bag his 800 yen convenience store cache; some batteries and a few sundry items making up his pitiful plunder. Yet despite his lawyer’s pleas, the presiding judge was having none of it, the money stolen from the shrine costing the 27-year-old dearly: “Even 2 yen is part of the monetary offerings of shrine visitors. We cannot take what he did lightly despite the amount of money.”

The judge could perhaps also have gone on about how the Japanese justice system is successfully keeping undesirables like Kondo-san off the streets, yet considering that if the petty thief had raped somebody he’d potentially only serve an extra 2 months behind bars, it’s probably best he didn’t.

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Rogue radishes

News-starved residents of Tokyo are currently going crazy over the appearance of a ‘daikon’ (Japanese radish) in the city’s Higashikurume district, the robust root vegetable miraculously pushing its way through the asphalt by the side of a road.

gutsy daikon

The radish’s emergence in an urban area without a hint of greenery has needless to say surprised many locals, with a Government official speaking for the majority by excitedly exclaiming, “I have no idea how the seed got here.” Yet sporting leaves that span the width of a human hand, and boasting a respectable diameter of 4 centimetres, the dynamic daikon can even be seen from the road, immeasurably brightening the morning trips of thousands of commuters.

This daikon dementia follows a similar incident in Aioi, Hyogo Prefecture, where an equally courageous radish recently appeared — local residents even going as far as naming it ‘Dokonjo Daikon’ (gutsy radish). A heartwarming tale that ultimately ended in tragedy, as a callous criminal sliced off the top of the vegetable; however its remains were rushed to a nearby agricultural research centre, where officials are still trying to bring it back to life. Town spokesman Jiro Matsuo tearfully stating, “People discouraged by tough times were cheered by its tenacity and strong will to live.”

Yet if the unthinkable happens and the daikon dies, it will continue to live on, its story having been painstakingly immortilised in a 48-page book; a project in no way designed to cash in on the radish’s tragic story, with an Aioi Municipal Government official claiming that with ‘Ganbare Dai-chan’ (Hang in there, little daikon), “We want to reproduce the radish and add a new page to its history.” Author Ayumi Miyazaki, who laboured for a full two months to produce the masterpiece, also adding that she hopes the book will leave a lasting impression of the radish as it grew through the asphalt.

daikon book

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Defecation dance

A 25-year-old man was arrested over the weekend for the theft of a high school student’s swimsuit; however Yasuhisa Matsushita didn’t just steal the item of clothing to further his swimming skills, or top up his tan — albeit in a decidedly feminine manner. Instead, the employment agency worker chose to dance around in the pilfered garment, a performance he inexplicably added to by incorporating a bowel movement — the outfit bulgingly bearing the load.

Whether Matsushita-san was still wearing the soiled swimsuit when arrested wasn’t disclosed, but the deranged defecator has admitted to the allegations; a predicament he appears rather puzzled by, matter-of-factly telling the police, “I did it because it felt so good.”

Despite his arrest and admission of guilt, the authorities have yet to confirm if the stolen swimsuit has been returned to its rightful owner.

Categorized: Odd

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Monroe meal

In an area where people mustn’t get out much, residents of Susami, Wakayama Prefecture, are currently going wild about an unusually shaped daikon (Japanese radish).

daikon

Found in the garden of 74-year-old Keiko Tanaka, this mildly interesting member of the mustard family is being likened in appearance to a woman crossing her legs. In fact, so uncanny is this resemblance, that locals have gone as far as naming the daikon ‘Monroe’; presumably after the famous movie icon and rumoured radish lover.

However whilst currently on display, the demure daikon’s time is almost up; as after eyeing up its luscious ‘legs’, Tanaka-san drooled to reporters, “I’m hoping that it will taste better than regular ones”. A comment that will surely dismay the entertainment starved residents of Susami.