Tokyo Times

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Odd

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Ludicrous loaf

Now I’m aware that rice is the staple diet in Japan, and consequently the consumption of bread isn’t as important (or indeed commonplace) as it is in my native Britain. Yet even bearing this in mind, it’s nevertheless rather disturbing to see what horrors the humble loaf is occasionally subjected to.

Like this bizarre ice cream, banana, and bread combination for example.

japanese bread

A creation so preposterous that one can only hope that eating instructions are supplied. Providing of course that you’d want to even try.

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Denim desires

In a crime that is baffling to say the least, a 34-year-old Tokyoite has been arrested for throwing acid at the buttocks of several women. The charge being an almost equally bizarre ‘willful destruction of property’.

Tsukasa Saito it seems acquired the acid from the metalworking company he’s employed by, and riding his mountain bike he would hurl it at the bottoms of denim wearing women. His victims luckily suffering no physical injuries, although their jeans had holes burned in them.

Saito-san has apparently admitted to the allegations, and explained his behaviour by saying, “It really turned me on to see a bottom in a pair of Jeans.” Although why this should prompt the aforementioned posterior to be doused in acid remains a mystery.

News of the acid flinging arse maniac’s arrest was greeted with joy amongst the capital’s denim wearing population. Prompting those who had fled to the countryside in fear of an attack to make plans for a speedy return.

japanese cutie

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Barefaced boozer

Taxis in Japan are certainly not the cheapest, and with a minimum cost of 660 yen (just over 3 pound) they aren’t for the faint hearted. Nor it seems the unemployed. As this week, out of work 55-year-old Satoshi Nakagawa was sentenced to three and a half years in prison for calling an ambulance to take him home after drinking too much.

Japanese ambulance
Taxi!

Nakagawa finally pushed the emergency services too far on June 8 last year after sitting down drunk in the middle of the road and asking a passerby to call an ambulance; but instead of taking him home as he demanded, the ambulance driver took the barefaced boozer back to the fire station where the vehicle had been dispatched from. An act that so enraged Nakagawa that the resultant fracas resulted in his arrest.

During sentencing Judge Hidenaga Manabe said, “He committed a selfish crime by obstructing the highly urgent duties of ambulances.” Which is something of an understatement, as it turns out that Nakagawa had tried his too-drunk-to-walk-home-but-not-enough-money-for-a-taxi-as-I’ve-spent-it-all-on-beer stunt on numerous occasions. A staggering 50 times since August 2003 to be exact. However perhaps even more surprising is that on a couple of occasions he was actually taken home.

Categorized: Odd

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Elderly effigy

Not to be outdone by the new and frankly bizarre sex education dolls, the Sakamoto Model Company has manufactured a decidedly disturbing effigy of an elderly patient. The rather ghoulish object designed to help train nurses in the care of the old and infirm.

It is claimed that the dolls are so realistic that they appear almost alive. The skin quality, joint movement, and facial expressions giving them an unnerving realism. Even if they do resemble something from the infamous Roswell incident.

roswell doll

In fact the models are so convincing and anatomically correct that training in urination and excretion is possible. With space for a foraging finger should the latter prove especially troublesome.

japanese excretion doll

All these features come at a cost though. A bowel loosening 480,000 yen (2,400 pound) to be exact. But as the picture below boasts, pajamas are included.

japanese elderly doll
japanese elderly doll

Which is perhaps just as well.

naked doll

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Melon mania

This week saw farmers from Zentsuji in Kanagawa Prefecture begin to sell the year’s first square melons. With around 800 of these ‘ideal for the freezer’ variants of the popular green fruit shipped to Tokyo, Osaka, and China. Priced at a decidedly un-mouthwatering 10,000 yen (50 pound) apiece.

square melon

This announcement, coupled with the recent sale of a 280,000 yen (1,400 pound) black melon, means that these are heady days indeed for melon maniacs.

A pity the same can’t be said for those of us in search of the regular and reasonably priced variety. In fact the way things are going, I may have to compromise and make do with a pyramid-shaped one instead.

pyramid shaped melon

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Toilet trespasser

Having recently moved to Tokyo from nearby Ibaraki Prefecture, 22-year-old Shinpei Umezawa’s return to the region on Sunday evening may have seemed quite innocent. But rather than visiting family members or catching up with old friends, the young electrician was actually up to no good with a digital camera and a small mirror.

Securing himself a spot in one of the cubicles at a women’s train station toilet, Umezawa-san set about trying to take a few clandestine snap shots. However after only 25 minutes, his foray into furtive photography came to an abrupt and ignominious end.

japanese train station toilet

Feeling there was something suspicious (or alternatively somebody was having an especially torrid time on the toilet), a commuter reported the long-locked lavatory. A decision that led to Umezawa’s capture, and eventual arrest — for trespassing of all things.