Tokyo Times

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Technology Stuff

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Maid to measure

For anyone looking to satisfy a clandestine cosplay compulsion, online retailer Angel Kitty is something of a one stop shop, its vast array of schoolgirl uniforms, race queen gear, and ubiquitous maid outfits amply covering most bases.

However for those after something just a little bit different, the site’s maid apparel and camera-on-the-end-of-a-detachable-tail combination might be right up your alley.

maid webcam

The USB webcam equipped appendage does bump up the outfit’s price somewhat, but considering its versatility, 22,575 yen (107 pound) isn’t too excessive. An Angel Kitty model in the picture below kindly proving that as well as using the unique item to chat with dear old mum online, it also has plenty of other, rather less parent-friendly options.

japanese maid webcam

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Technological trash

Whilst the likes of Honda and Hitachi are continually pushing the boundaries of robotic technology, other manufacturers appear to be a long way behind their more illustrious and well-funded rivals.

japanese robot

Closer inspection of the image also revealing that large-screen plasma TVs are perhaps not quite as ubiquitous as we are often lead to believe.

(Click image for added crapness)

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Rapid robot

Honda’s Asimo robot has never been a slouch when it comes to pace and agility, with a previous version of the car company’s mechanical mate notching up a fairly respectable top speed of 3 km/h. The newest model however would never be out of the drug testing lab were it an athlete, as it can now rattle along at a very impressive 6 km/h. Leaving its technologically inferior cousin for dust.

asimo running

Yet don’t for a minute think that these new sporting capabilities mean the little chap doesn’t have a softer side. No, from consummate athlete to caring assistant, the machine’s transition is effortless. As by attempting to make the robot into a receptionist of sorts — or even a helping hand in the office — Honda has bestowed Asimo with several new skills. Give the little fella a tray for example (albeit a specially designed one), and he can carry drinks and successfully place them on a table without spilling a drop.

asimo serving drinks

Plus, if you’ve got a party going on with lots of thirsty revelers to serve, the 130cm robot can even push a cart about — although the aforementioned non-spillage probably couldn’t be guaranteed. Such a contraption even giving Asimo the potential to wheel those a bit worse for wear to the lavatory. Providing of course they have strong enough bladders to endure the leisurely paced trip.

asimo moving

Honda claims that the next phase of evolution will be to drastically enhance Asimo’s artificial intelligence. Greatly improving the robot’s ability to make decisions depending on the circumstances and environment.

Not that such future upgrades take anything away from the current model. And for ardent Asimo fans, the bubble-headed bot is available for lease. But with a price tag of 20 million yen a year (95,000 pound), it’s not for the faint hearted.

asimo

To watch Asimo strut his stuff in an array of short videos, click on the movement you want to see. There’s running, pushing, carrying and even exercising. Plus the rather touching walking hand in hand. Although how long it’ll be before the robots are doing the leading remains to be seen.

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Toilet techno

Not content with making the bathroom a place for the leisurely perusal of poetry, toilet trailblazer TOTO has produced a lavatory with a built-in music player.

apricot toilet

As well as the now almost standard wash and dry facilities, TOTO’s unusually named Apricot N5A has the ability to bang out a few tunes, whilst you, erm, bang out other things. A company spokesperson saying, “We conducted a survey in 2002 where we asked people to tell us what they wanted from a toilet. The most common response was a heated water cleaning system, which was closely followed by the desire for audio-visual functions.”

Yet don’t for a minute think that this means some kind of cheap stereo with an inbuilt muzak soundtrack. Far from it. The inclusion of a memory card slot means that users can set the music to suit their needs. A couple of short and snappy pop ditties could be ideal backing for an equally brief ‘business trip’. Alternatively, a 1970’s prog rock marathon would perhaps be better suited to those looking at a more prolonged visit. The addition of volume control allowing any embarrassing splashes or splatters to be easily drowned out by a timely cymbal crash or screeching guitar solo.

music playing toilet

With the Apricot N5A however, the fun doesn’t stop with musical accompaniment. For those whose bowels run like clockwork, the toilet seat can be set to warm-up at specified times. Plus the embarrassment of frantic flushing after a particularly large and stubborn deposit should be a thing of the past, as the intelligent toilet is capable of analyzing what it’s dealing with; taking the appropriate action once dimensions and consistency have been accurately calculated. Yet perhaps the Apricot’s biggest boon — at least for the ladies — is that the seat puts itself down automatically.

automatic toilet seat

Whilst such lavish lavvies may seem a little over the top to some, Kuo Ue, director of the Japan Toilet Association, claims to know why such advancements have become so attractive. “Japanese are a people who have placed great importance on hygiene since the olden days and really focused their attention on the toilet. There’s even a saying that if you want to be beautiful, you should first clean your toilet.” Finishing off with a slightly controversial parting shot. “There’s a tendency for toilet talk to be taboo in the West, so they haven’t progressed.”

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Robotic relief

Electronic aids are nothing new in the Japanese home, with devices available for a variety of tasks — including entertaining children and caring for the elderly.

Some manufacturers, however, have decided to move away from such practical concerns, focusing much more on personal pleasure. This, erm, mechanical masturbator being a prime example.

japanese handjob

For frustrated fellas reticent to subject their genitalia to a rather severe looking synthetic squeeze, the appliance comes with other, slightly less alarming attachments.

Removal of the ‘hand’ for example allowing for straightforward insertion, with the machine kindly taking care of all necessary movements.

japanese masturbation

Such versatility making it a real a bargain at only 34,500 yen (170 pound). Comfortably beating the competition hands down.

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Record greed

“We are strongly pushing for the iPod tax.”

Taizo Shinya, spokesman for the Recording Industry Association of Japan, which supports a copyright law revision to charge royalties on digital music players.

Not content with already fleecing music buyers with ludicrously high prices, Japanese recording companies are now after even more easy money. This time from anybody who has the temerity to buy a digital music player. The appropriately named ‘iPod tax’ being touted as somewhere between 2 and 5 percent of a portable player’s retail price.

Now admittedly the illegal downloading of music is still rife, but when you look at the prices of CDs in Japan, it’s hardly surprising. Take this early release from singing sensation Ayumi Hamasaki.

ayumi hamasaki

Nice cover and all that, but LOVEppears retails at a staggering 3,392 yen (almost 17 pound). A figure that could — generously, looking at many other CDs — be described as an averagely priced album. And when you consider that Apple’s iTunes Music Store is already a success in Japan — recently racking up a whopping 1 million sales in its first four days — the record industry’s greed appears to know no bounds. Or feel any shame for that matter.

BitTorrent beckons…