Living in Japan and possessing a singing voice that warrants a stretch behind bars means that evenings out with colleagues or acquaintances can be fraught with danger. One simply never knows if (although sadly it’s usually when) the battle cry of “Lets go to karaoke!†will rear its ugly little head.
This spine chilling suggestion for the vocally challenged requires an immediate and effective escape plan. Perhaps a feigning of tiredness, or even a boldfaced lie involving family members, sickness, and an urgent need to return home. Basically anything will do, as long as it results in a night of karaoke crooning avoidance.
Such cowardice has thankfully served me well up to now, but the evil engineers at TASCAM have released the terrifying Karaoke Man on to a vapid and voracious market.
This innocent looking but malevolent device allows users to cut the vocals from any CD. Which combined with the supplied microphone creates a light and portable karaoke machine. A gadget that is destined to appear when least expected and even less desired.
This is a frightening prospect indeed, and one that will require a serious rethinking of evasive strategies. One possibility is the claim of a mysterious yet especially virulent throat condition. A disease so baffling that karaoke singing in any shape or form is liable to be fatal.
Rather extreme I admit, but these are troubling times for a westerner without the ability to warble.
Nigel says
Just figure out how to manipulate the machine so that the vocals are back in the mix, then pretend it’s you singing. Hey presto, problem solved AND you’re ready for a recording contract!
J Schnorng says
but…it’s the most fun when you CAN’T sing, isn’t it?
Bunny says
Surely you can manage to warble a version of ‘Memories’ or ‘My Way’? How about a Queen favourite, such as ‘We Are The Champions’?
Kalle Kanin says
Hmm. I wonder if it would be possible to construct a karaoke-faking machine? Let’s see… if you play readymade singing back through a hidden speaker in a shirt collar… no, there would be a problem with the vocals drifting out of sync more and more the further into the song you get. One would need to construct some sort of pocketable keypad with all the vocal segments broken down into separate sample pieces that could then be triggered separately one after the other by hitting a next-button. That could work.
Toni says
As someone who actually LIKES karaoke (yes, I’m nerdy), I’d totally get one of these machines! That saves a lot of money, not having to buy those karaoke CDs.
Dan says
please send me your email soon